I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
