Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
