I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize