There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
