so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
