I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
