Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
