I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
