im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
