In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
