The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize