forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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