I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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