I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
