I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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