I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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