Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My dick has a subreddit
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
