I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
