I must be too annoying 4 u.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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