The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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