I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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