We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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