haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
