she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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