my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
