drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
