dude i'm inner monologue high
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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