Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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