Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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