She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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