Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
