Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize