I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
