who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
