the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
