remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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