I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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