im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
