Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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