just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
