he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize