She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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