Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize