Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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