How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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