Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
