Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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