You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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