I'm lost and stupid without you.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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