All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
