There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
