Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
