I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
