I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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