She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
