What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
