he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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