Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
