Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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