As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
