Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
