i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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