Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize