you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
